2 of 100 @Holy Trinity, Phoenixville

I don't understand my attraction to Holy Trinity, but it just feels like the most sacred place I have ever entered. A Polish church, built in the early 1900s, it's a different color and a different feel than the traditional Catholic churches I have attended. The statuary is more pronounced, and more colorful than in other places as well. There are some impressive frescos on the ceiling. It's a tough place to access these days - it had been twinned with another church in 1998, after looking at the possibility of being closed. But I made it a destination this afternoon, both for Chaplet #2, and in remembrance of my friend Lou Ann, who passed away last night.

Overcoming Doubts About the Devil

"he never sleeps, but ever goes about seeking whom he may devour" Thomas A Kempis, "Of The Imitation of Christ".

I don't remember when I stopped believing there was a Lucifer. It wasn't that I had proof of his non-existance, or that I had any specific reason, but I am certain I stopped. And any temptations, any troubles which might have been attributed to him (and there were a lot) were explained away with a casual "this is what happens". And to be honest, I have to admit I found some of the temptations quite enticing. Yeah, crazy, I know. Recurring motif.



So now - I don't know how to go from non-belief to possible belief, let alone full acceptance of the idea. There are things I believed in at one point in my life that have subsequently fallen onto the non-belief pile. And I don't believe anything on that list has ever made it back to the belief column. Even harder is listening to people attribute things to the devil, and struggling with the whole concept of understanding their conviction. Because I do not doubt their belief - I merely wish I had it.



There are some that belief the devil's greatest tactic is convincing us that he does not exist. That makes tremendous sense. It gives me pause to think that might have been what happened with me. Of course, that's today's thought. The shifts in my thinking as I have been returning to my Catholic roots scare me. One day things make perfect sense in a linear A-B-C kind of a way. And then, a new thought, a new idea, sends me scrambling.



I know some people who are so black and white on matters of faith. For them, things fall on this side, or that side, of some Christ inspired line of demarcation. I envy their clarity of thought. I might not necessarily agree with everything they say, but they have my utmost respect because they come at life with a soldly anchored belief structure. For me, a majority of things come with shades of gray.

1 of 100 - @ St. Ann's, Phoenixville, PA

Fittingly, the first chaplet is on New Year's Day, at St. Ann's Chapel, where I was probably one of the first altar boys. I'll look for the pics of the (laughingly) cherubic looking redhead that served with Father Griffin, Father Lavin and a few others back in the day.

I wanted to have a specific purpose to my prayers today, but I couldn't do it. I'm still searching for what is at the heart of this project. I know it is something specific, but what exactly that is remains elusive.

I always preferred St. Ann's Church to our Chapel. It's the classic vs. modern argument. Something about old stained glass, and marble altars. I am hoping to capture some pictures from their to share at one point.

Post 1: An Intro To 100 Churches, 100 Chaplets

If you've stumbled upon this project, welcome. I call it a project because this is about a deliberate action, rather than thoughts on a given subject. Ideally, the action might inspire you in one way or another, to take action yourself. Which would be great. But if you want to follow my project, thanks.



I think the best way to kick this off is to let you know what's going to be happening in this space for the next two years. Yes, this is something that has a beginning and an end. By December 31, 2011, we should be done. We'll have visited 100 churches, prayed 100 chaplets. And I'll have likely rambled my wa through a lot of the questions I have about returning to the Church of my youth.

I live in a small town near Valley Forge Park, right outside of Philadelphia. I was raised Catholic, and by the age of 19, felt that I had pretty much outgrown the Church. And now, at 51, I've been trying very hard to come home. I honestly sometimes wonder how God feels about that. I mean, I'm damaged goods. At the same time, I know I'm damaged, which is how I think He prefers it. When I was 20 and perfect and cocky I don't think He was all that fond of me.

In trying to discern something that I could do as an exercise in faith/spiritual practice, I did what I always do. I bought a whole lot of books. Books are good if you want to talk about being a spiritual being, because when you say "I've read ___________", people like to tell you how much they admire your spirituality. Oh, it's a crock of bullshit, I know, but it sounds nice, and far be it from me to deny people the right to compliment me.


So after deciding the book option hasn't really accomplished a whole lot so far, I found inspiration somewhere (I wish I could recall where) to start a project. Something that could combine my love for a bunch of things - my faith, architecture, writing...with my desire to do something helpful for a cause. What cause remains unclear. So does a lot of my belief system.